Change

In the past few years, I have really realized how much I both love and hate change. The excitement and anticipation that something new is coming and that you get to essentially start over again is one that I love! Yet, life not feeling the same, people changing, and starting over again can be SO scary as well!

As much as I love to make changes for myself, I've often struggled when others have made changes that have indirectly affected me. For example, friends moving away, getting married, or having babies - changes that are so positive and that I am so happy about, yet also feel sad because I know things will no longer be the same as they used to be.

It was so exciting to essentially start my life over in Sevilla two years ago, then do it again in Barcelona this year. I loved the anticipation of all the new experiences I would have, the people I would meet, the things I would see. And it was great! Yet, I have no desire, at all, to start over again anytime soon. As wonderful as that type of change can be, it's also terrifying and exhausting at the same time. As much as I love big changes, I equally love feeling settled, developing friendships, and feeling like I'm home.

But, with beginning a new year (for teachers, it feels like our "new year" always begins in August, not January :) that doesn't involve any huge changes like moving across the world or across a country - something I am VERY grateful for - it seems I still feel the need for some changes to happen.

Although I was hesitant at first, due to absolutely loving my apartment and living on my own, I am SO excited to be moving in with Tessa in a few days! A new (and much bigger!) space to call home, an apartment ideal for socializing with friends, and a place to start making new memories could not be coming at a better time. And with our personalities, I have no doubt we will have a lot of fun living together.

Visiting new places, experiencing different cultures, and seeing new landscapes is a change I crave. For this reason, I am SO excited to be going to Switzerland next week - a country that I envision being like Colorado on steroids - a place unlike any I've seen before. The added bonus of getting to visit a part of Italy I've never seen and spending ten days with one of my favorite traveling companions makes it even more exciting.

And finally, a physical change. Every time I go to get my haircut, my mom asks what I'm going to do. For ten years now, my response has been something like, "Oh, just a trim, take off an inch or two." And her response almost always sounds something like, "Oh - pretty risky, Jenny!" I've been thinking about a change for awhile, but have really loved having long hair. I knew I would back out if I took too long to decide, so after encouragement from friends (especially one Anna Morgan, "Your hair is thick, voluminous, and prosperous, and if you hate it, it will grow back - carpe diem!" Love you and your adjectives, Anna - thanks!), I went for it. In the spirit of summertime, a new year, and a new look, I got A LOT of my hair cut off yesterday! For the first time in about ten years, I can't say that I have long hair -- yikes! They actually called it a "transformation" cut! It feels completely different, I think I love it.

Changes can come in all shapes and sizes - new places to visit, a new home, a new job, a new relationship, a new addition to the family, a new philosophy on life, a new look. Although it's not always positive, and sometimes it's scary, I love what change can bring - a chance to reinvent yourself, gain confidence, experience something new, and ultimately, a chance to grow as a person. I already look forward to the other changes this new year will bring . . .

" Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights. "

~Pauline R. Kezer

"The Girl" - City and Colour

Tessa shared this video with me a few weeks ago and it couldn't have been more perfect at the time. I finally downloaded it and love it - such beautiful lyrics, guitar, and slow to fast tempo. Check it out!

La Playa

I imagine it's due to living in Indianapolis and Denver for years - two very landlocked cities - that I have come to love living so close to the sea. Although I loved going to the beach for vacation and was always excited to see and hear the ocean, I never missed it that much once I was gone. However, since moving to Barcelona, that has changed so much!

I know I'm currently on summer vacation, but the fact that I can have my toes in the sand, looking at the Mediterranean, in 15 minutes by foot or by bike often makes me feel like I'm permanently on vacation! The breeze, the hot sand, the sea, people relaxing and tanning everywhere - it's something I have completely fallen in love with. Since being back in Barcelona, I think I've been to the beach about four afternoons a week. Since the hottest hours seem to be 4-6pm, there's never a rush to get there, either.

Although I definitely miss my Colorado mountains, the sea has definitely pulled me in - you can tell just by how much my freckle count has increased! :) I look forward to enjoying this aspect of Barcelona as much as possible, both in the summer and year-round.

When life gives you lemons . . .

I fully recognize that this is such a cliche, but . . . I still think it is such a good one to live by! The past two weeks have not been the easiest - I've learned that people are not always as they seem, red flags are red flags for a reason, not everything makes sense, and that sometimes I just won't get the answers I'm looking for. Like the song says, breaking up is hard to do!

However, time, Spanish classes, conversations with friends and my mom, fun, moving, and travel plans have made things turn around quickly. Thanks to two of my wonderful friends - the rest of the summer is looking pretty fantastic!

I was able to spend the past weekend in Madrid, feeling like a tourist in Spain again, while visiting Tessa. She's there working on her masters for the month of July. Even with the work she had to do, she was so welcoming and provided the fun and conversation I definitely needed. I had been missing my Barcelona BF desperately!

Next week, I move into our new (fabulous!) apartment, then leave for Switzerland to visit Emily. I was originally planning to spend just a few days there, but with a very gracious and persuasive email from her, I will now be staying an extra week to go to Cinque Terra and enjoy a huge street parade in Zurich! Mountains, beaches, Italian men, and good food and wine are sounding like heaven. (Plus, I can't wait to see what happens on this "Adventures with Emily and Jenny" trip - our last one to Chile/Argentina is what made us both move to Europe!)

Although it was a pretty sour start to the second half of my summer break, it's looking like I'll be able to make some very sweet lemonade after all. (You're the best, ladies - thanks! :)

La Capital - Madrid

This past weekend, I visited Tessa in Madrid. Although I have been to the airport and train station a few times, I had never actually explored Spain's capital. What an amazing city it is! The history, the art, the culture, the Spanish - it was fantastic.

The highlight of my trip was definitely visiting the Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum. The "Meet the Artist" project that my 5th graders did really gave me a new understanding and appreciation of art. It was so fantastic to visit this museum and see at least one piece by almost every well-known artist I've heard of - Picasso, Van Gogh, Monet, Renoir, Degas, Gaugin, Klee, Dali, Pollack - the list goes on and on! I also loved the layout of this museum - it was easy to get around and not too overwhelming (unlike Reina Sofia - fantastic, but a little too much for me). Although it's probably not what most people would say, if you visit one art museum, I recommend this one.

In addition, Puerta del Sol, Plaza Mayor, Plaza Santa Ana, and Parque del Buen Retiro were beautiful to see. The city definitely buzzes with energy - something I love. The metro system is fantastic in Madrid, so it was easy to get everywhere as well.

Plaza Mayor

Palacio de Cristal in Parque Buen Retiro

One of the best, and most surprising, highlights of this trip was the Spanish. I think I heard and spoke more Spanish in four days in Madrid than I have in six months in Barcelona! Tessa and I had a number of conversations about this - it's crazy how different it is! First of all, everything is in Spanish, not Catalan, which makes a huge difference. It also seemed like the majority of the tourists there were Spanish tourists, not Americans, British, Germans, etc. Because of this (maybe?), everyone in restaurants and bars spoke to us in Spanish. Often times in Barcelona they will switch to English as soon as it becomes clear you're not a native Spanish or Catalan speaker. It really put into perspective how difficult it can be to learn Spanish while living in Barcelona . . .

With that said, as much as I loved visiting Madrid, my heart is definitely in Barca. I think the combination of the beach, the Mediterranean breeze, the size of the city, and the lifestyle makes it a better fit for me. However, I would visit Madrid again in a heartbeat - I know there is a lot more for me to see.

Holy, Toledo!

If you have a few days in Madrid, Toledo should be a must on your list of day trips! It's a city Anna and I had hoped to visit on our summer trip last year, but just weren't able to make it. I am so glad I was able to visit - what an amazing place!

Within minutes of walking into the city, I fell in love. I don't know why, but I immediately liked the feel of it. The narrow, stone streets were very reminiscent of Sevilla, yet the hilly-ness of the city reminded me of the mountains. The stone and bricks everywhere, the history, the beautiful buildings - they definitely made Toledo one of my favorite cities in Spain!

I loved the streets!

Once arriving at the train station (only a 30 minute/20 euro trip from Madrid), you can walk or take a bus or taxi into the old center. I chose to walk, and although it only took about 20 minutes, a large portion of that walk was up tons of stairs - whew! From there, I just wandered around the streets, knowing that I would happen upon the sights I wanted to see. (FYI - most of the streets are brick and stone - not so nice for walking! Make sure you have comfortable shoes :)

As well as being the old capital of Spain, Toledo has some really interesting history. At one point, Muslims, Jews, and Catholics were all living in the city together - pretty unusual in Spanish history! For this reason, there are still multiple churches, a mosque, and a synagogue.

La Catedral

In addition to the history, I found everyone super-friendly and food and drinks surprisingly inexpensive - always a plus in my book. Yep - Toledo is definitely a city worth seeing!

Old Spanish men hanging out in the plaza made me love the city even more!

Segovia - a great place to visit for amazing architecture and . . . baby pigs!

Segovia is a fantastic day trip to make from Madrid - only 30 minutes and 20 euros round trip on Renfe! Segovia is known for it's amazing Roman aqueduct, built in the 1st century. Its considered to be one of the most well-preserved in Europe. It constantly amazes me to see structures that have lasted so long.

In addition to the aqueduct, beautiful cathedral, and alcazar, Segovia is also known for it's cochinillo - roasted suckling pig. Although I knew we were going to be eating this, the reality of seeing a whole baby pig on a platter was still a little shocking to me! The preparation and cutting of the pig are a very traditional part of Segovia. They actually use plates to chop it up - it's that tender! We went to Restaurante Jose Maria, one recommended by some Madrileños . It was fantastic - amazing food and some of the best red wine I have had in awhile.

Yum!?

If you're looking for a day trip from Madrid, Segovia is definitely worth a visit!

Menu del Dia

Menu del Dia is a Spanish tradition that I was introduced to after first moving to Sevilla - many of my male friends loved it because it's usually tons of food for just a few euros. In general, I didn't go too often because the quality of the food wasn't the best, and I always ate too much of food I didn't even like that much.

However, after enjoying an amazing menu del dia with Anne today, I think I might have to start enjoying this tradition again! Usually, menu del dia includes a drink, an appetizer, a main course, dessert, and coffee. There are often three to four choices for the appetizer and main course. The price varies, but is usually 8-15 euros.

Today, we went to Habaluc and it was delicious. Tinto de verano, rollitos with spinach and cheese, grilled vegetables and garbanzos, Greek yogurt with fresh jam, and a cortado all for 12 euros -- wow! The best part is that we sat outside and enjoyed a true Spanish lunch -- it was about 1.5 hours long! In addition, it was light, yet filling, so you don't really even need dinner. A leisurely walk home through the sun-filled streets of Barcelona made for a wonderful end to the afternoon.

After getting back from Madrid, I think I might need to consider a menu del dia tour of Barcelona . . . what a great way to enjoy summer days!

Who am I?

I recently listened to a piece on NPR titled: "Memoir Project Gives Tips for Telling Your Story." It was recommended to me by an old teammate, Clara Hernandez, who knows me well. (Thanks, Clara!)

As a teacher, teaching writing to kids is my most favorite thing to do. I love the way students can develop their writing throughout a unit into amazing pieces that show so much about who they are. I also particularly love the unit I have taught on memoir writing. Although I didn't teach it this past year at ASB, I hope to do so in the future. In addition to loving to teach writing to kids, I also really enjoy writing myself (as you have probably noticed). I find that it's a great way to play with language, express myself, share stories and thoughts, and figure out what it is that's really on my mind. It's such a simple thing to do, yet can be so complex at the same time.

One thing that really struck me about this piece on NPR was the idea of figuring out who we are in order to angle a memoir in a particular direction. This will help a memoir to stay focused, as well as appeal to a certain audience. One of the things I say to my students more than any other is, "What is this really about? What are you really trying to say?"

So, of course, this has prompted me to really think about who I am. Here's what I've got so far! Who knows what I'll decide to do with it next.

a daughter

a sister

a friend

a teacher

an educator

a learner

an American

an ex-pat

a reader

a hard worker

a writer

a traveler

a lover

an adventure-seeker

a lover of good food, wine, and beer

a thinker

a person who loves to laugh

someone who enjoys the unexpected

a person full of passion for beliefs and people I care about

How would you describe yourself?

Hmmmm . . .

I did a little searching for wise words about love. I couldn't resist these, for myself and anyone else who might identify. Enjoy!

- There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go. - Tennessee Williams

- Moving on is simple, it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.

- Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours.

- Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.

- If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you. If I hadn't liked you, I wouldn't love you. If I hadn't loved you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do and I will.

- Every happy couple has at least one breakup behind them.

And my personal favorite, "If your love does not work with that person, it just means that someone else loves you more."

clases de espanol = super bien!

As I was thinking about my summer plans one weekend, I was reminded of the fact that I have a truly difficult time not being busy. The ability to sleep late, lay on the couch watching TV, and do basically nothing is something near impossible for me. (Only particular factors like a hangover, terrible weather, or extreme tiredness seem to make days like this a possibility.)

After one weekend day of doing basically nothing, I decided that signing up for intensive Spanish classes might be a wise decision. And they were! After five days last week, and another four this week for 3.5 hours a day in a class with only 1-2 other students, my Spanish has grown wonders! It's amazing how a great teacher, fun classmates, and the chance to just converse in Spanish for hours makes a world of a difference.

I'd felt like I'd hit a plateau for awhile and am finally starting to get over it. I can feel my brain working differently when I see, hear, and speak Spanish and I love it! It's reminded me of just how much I LOVE learning and being in class - yep, I'm a total nerd. :) I hope to take intensive classes again, whenever possible.

The key will be keeping this up after class - I think I'm going to buy a book to practice the grammar and I might actually study. (It amazes me that I have such bad study skills as a teacher!) Hopefully taking some private classes in the fall will make a difference, too. Most importantly, I have to make more Spanish friends - I MUST speak as much as possible. In the meantime, I'll just keep speaking Spanish to anyone who will listen (old men are my favorite), even if they keep speaking in English to me. :)

Red Flag Alert!

This past year in Barcelona has really made me realize both the fantastic and the difficult aspects of living abroad. Luckily, the good parts heavily outweigh the bad, but that definitely doesn't make them any easier!

This past week, Matias and I broke up. For those of you that I saw at home, you can guess how unexpected this was! While in Indianapolis, I had a long-awaited talk with my SBFF, Anna. During this conversation, I told her about how in love Matias and I were, how amazing things had been, and how excited I was to see him in less than two weeks. I vividly remember telling her how I thought he was "the one" for me and was pretty positive we'd be together for a long, long time. I then said that I knew the only thing that would stop this from happening would be if he was unable to deal with the issues from his past, because they were directly related to our future. And how, if we didn't work out because of these things, it would be SO disappointing, but I would be okay.

Well, apparently I had a premonition of things to come, because that's exactly what happened. As wonderful as the past six months with him have been, it's clear that the red flags I noticed were red flags for a reason - it was just easier to not see them because the rest of the view was so amazing.

The strangest part of all of this is that since I hadn't seen him for three weeks, we broke up so quickly after my return, and I've received zero communication from him since (Is he alive? Is he still in Barcelona? What on earth is he thinking?! I literally have no idea!), it almost feels like the whole relationship never happened -- which is such a surreal feeling! I suppose it's making getting over things easier, but I don't want to just forget that it happened - it was such a happy time for me and for him! ("WTF?!" is a phrase that has definitely been running through my mind a lot these days! :)

Something that's been difficult about this has been the fact that I've been back in Barcelona on my own. I just left my friends and family, Tessa is in Madrid for the month, and most of my other friends from work are traveling. Needless to say, this is one of the difficult aspects of living abroad. Luckily, I've been taking Spanish classes, meeting some new people, getting tons of exercise, and managing to keep myself pretty busy.

At this point, I've accepted that there are a lot of questions I just won't get answered, which is very difficult for me. But regardless, I'll never regret the past six months - they were such a happy and fun time and I learned so much in regards to what I need, want, and deserve in a relationship, as well as what I will continue to look for in the next person I am with. And until I find him, I hope to enjoy summer in Barcelona, one of the best cities ever to live life as a single, thirty-something girl . . . and as Jeff Pickett said so well, I'll just keep throwing a line into the sea that is Barcelona, or a harpoon - whatever works! :) However, I'll remember to keep an eye out for those red flags and pay a little closer attention to them next time.

Spanish Sunbathing - a little different than the US!

(Warning: dad and brothers - you probably don't want to read this post! :)

There are so many ways I've adapted to European life, but one of the most unexpected would have to be my new-found love of topless sunbathing!

When moving to Spain two years ago, I was instantly surprised by the number of naked breasts I would see on the beach. I'd always heard that Europeans were much less concerned with nudity than Americans, but it was still a shock to see! I mean, they were everywhere at any beach I went to! I was constantly amazed by the self-confidence of women to be topless, whether they were laying down, walking around, or just hanging out.

Tessa and I visited a hammam in Istanbul in November and it was quite an experience for both us! If you happen to have any self-esteem issues with your body (as most women do), I highly suggest going to a hammam! There's nothing like being 100% naked, surrounded by other naked women, including your friends, and being quite literally scrubbed down, spread-eagle, by large Turkish women. Wow - talk about liberating! After this experience, Tessa and I both felt much more comfortable in our own (glowing :) skin.

After going to the hammam and being on Spanish beaches, I truly realized just how different everyone's body is - when they are exposed everywhere, you can't help but notice it! And I love how women of literally all shapes and sizes are comfortable enough to lay out without their top - it's fascinating and somewhat empowering as well!

So over the past few months, I've definitely converted to the European way of sunbathing. As someone who has always been extra self-conscious about how little I have, this is a huge step for me! And frankly, it's wonderful -- so much more comfortable, natural, and easier when it comes to tanning. I don't think I'll be one to walk around, or swim, or play volleyball topless, but when it comes to laying on a beach towel and soaking up the sun, it's the best. Hey - if you can't beat 'em, join 'em - right?! :)