Feeling Much More Like Myself!

I am happy to report that the sun has been shining for multiple days now and it’s amazing what a difference it makes in my mood! I am feeling much more like my positive self again . . .

I think the past few weeks have been a little rough for a couple of reasons. As I mentioned a week ago, the weather and its effect on everything from our house to life in general has been brutal. Then, last Tuesday my computer stopped connecting to the internet for no apparent reason. I’ve been receiving error messages quite consistently for the past few months and now often turn it on to a blue screen, so I figured the end was in sight . . . However, not being able access the internet made me realize just how often I use it to “talk” to friends and family at home, makes plans here, and prepare for class. Needless to say, that situation did not help my mood! Luckily, my roommate Louise is letting me use her computer while she is in France (please forgive any typing mistakes – French keyboards are a bit difficult to navigate!). And, it looks like the Killions will be giving me a new netbook as an early birthday present – quite possibly the best gift ever!

I’ve also come to the conclusion that the smartest thing for me to do financially and professionally next year is either find a position teaching in an international school in Spain or return home. Ideally, I would prefer to stay in Spain. However, not one of my many emails or applications has even received a response!! It’s been SO frustrating! Even an email saying “You’re not qualified” or “We don’t like what you have to offer” would be better than no response at all!

So, all of a sudden I feel like I am being “forced” to go home when I would much prefer to feel like I get to make a choice. And it’s making me feel like there are so many things that I haven’t accomplished while here! For example: falling in love with a Spanish man, becoming fluent in Spanish, traveling to as many countries as possible, etc. Over the past week, I’ve been feeling a little disappointed about a lot of things . . .

But now . . . the sun is shining and I am able to re-evaluate a few things. One – I still have at least 5 months left in Spain! There is plenty of time to fall in love with a Spanish man J I don’t think I will become fluent in 5 months, but I know my level of Spanish can only continue to improve. And no, I won’t be traveling to tons of countries, but I do plan to see a lot of Spain in July with Anna (and ideally Megan Donald!), as well as visit the Canary Islands in May.

And most importantly, I’ve reminded myself that I am living in Spain – I actually did it! Even if not every one of the things I wanted to accomplish happens, I’ve lived abroad – something I have always wanted to do. A lot can happen in 5 months – I need to remember that the future has not been decided quite yet and I need to spend a little less time worrying about it (not such an easy thing for me to do!) . . .

In the meantime, there is SO much to look forward to – Liz and Kevin visiting, Semana Santa, Meredith visiting, Feria, my birthday, spring in Seville, traveling, eating, drinking, learning Spanish, and experiencing as much as possible in my time here!

As you can see, I am happy to report that I am feeling much more like myself again – thanks for your support! Hope to talk to everyone soon! Love, Jenny xx

Maybe a year is enough . . .

The last 24 hours have been one of the rare times where I've been thinking maybe a year in Spain will be enough! The incessant rain (which apparently never lasts this long), my leaking house (that has yet to fixed), frustrating landlords who want us to pay rent even though our house is unsafe, roommates who smoke in the house although it's supposed to be non-smoking, and again feeling stressed about money when I thought I was finally getting somewhere have caused me to not wake up on the right side of the bed this morning! Knowing me, I will most likely be feeling cheerful and positive in a few hours, but at that moment, I am missing the comforts of home more than ever! :( I'm off to Spanish class, which I am very excited for - hopefully it will turn my mood around and remind that I love Spain, regardless of how differently things are done!

Carnaval en Cadiz!

Wow - what a fantastic time! Carnaval was even better than I expected - fantastic costumes, great music, tons of people-watching, and many, many laughs! Although I always hate the stress of thinking of a costume, I am always later reminded of how fun it is when everyone is wearing them.

One of the many, many things I love about Spain is how so many things happen here that would never be okay in the US. A few of them are a little disgusting (I've never seen so many men urinating in streets in my life!) - but most are fantastic (parents bringing their babies along in strollers so they can still enjoy a night out!).

Carnaval was a great success - a long, but very memorable night in Spain!

Everyone becomes a friend when in costume!

Anna and I were detectives on the case . . .

Streets were lined with people everywhere!

Today is one of those days . . .

when I can't imagine leaving Spain anytime soon! Perfect temperatures, cloudless skies, and so many people! Weather has always had a huge affect on my mood and outlook, which is why I loved living in Colorado. Seville has just as much sunshine with warmer temperatures - it's amazing! (At least it's amazing in February - July is a different story!)

In addition, there are people out everywhere enjoying tapas and cervezas in every plaza imaginable. By my house, there is a rock band playing, adults socializing, and kids running around. Seville is just so full of life!

As Anna and I were discussing last night, we are not necessarily in love with teaching English and both miss our respective jobs and studies . . . but, we are both so in love with this place! It is spectacular!

Where has the time gone?!

As I was talking to Meredith yesterday, I realized that is has officially been six months that I have been living abroad. Wow! Where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday I was wandering around the streets of Seville with 100 pounds of luggage in 115 degree heat . . . my, how times have changed - thank goodness!

I went on a wonderful walk by the river today and it gave me some time to reflect on my time here. It's interesting to me that I am missing some things more now than I did just a few months ago. For example, I miss Indy terribly and constantly wonder how he will react to seeing me in six months - he won't forget who I am, right?! I miss my friends, especially my girls, every day. I miss being able to talk to them without having to think about the time difference and the great advice they can give because they know me so well. I miss my family everyday, yet have been happily surprised by how much we are able to talk. I miss my job - the kids, my colleagues, the intensity, the professional learning - but not the stress. I miss the mountains. I miss my things -- not the superficial ones, but things like my oven, basic cooking supplies, and a house that's not falling apart.

With that said, the list of the things I love about living abroad would be equally as long! I must say, I feel beyond lucky that I took the risk of moving to Spain and had it work out even better than expected. I'm glad to know that taking risks, no matter how scary, quite often have positive results. And if they don't, at least you know. So, here's to six more months of taking risks, enjoying Spain, and trying not to worry about what will happen next! xx