This is the question my mind has been incessantly asking the past few weeks. I don't know if it's the new year, having a few weeks off with more free time, or what, but I can't stop thinking about it, even though I have six months before I really need to decide!
On one hand, I have very much been missing having my own classroom, the intensity of APS, and my own professional development. As nice as it has been to not feel stressed and to have lots of time for myself, I'm kind of tired of it! (As many Crawford friends and I have talked about, this confirms that some of us have personalities that just need stress in their lives - for better or worse!)
In addition, I hate the financial stress that I feel living abroad. Never in my life have I had so little money or had to watch it so carefully! Knowing that I'm about to turn 30 years old makes this a little difficult to handle . . . I feel that I'm getting to the point where I might need to "grow up" and be a bit more financially responsible.
On the other hand, I absolutely love living here! The culture of Spain is one that has very quickly pulled me in -- I love what is valued and appreciated in this country. The combination of the culture, lifestyle, traditions, and food is one I can't imagine leaving quite yet. I feel more balanced in my life than I have in a really, really long time.
I also love being in Europe and feel that there is so much more for me to see and explore. It's so much easier to do so while living here (however, not having a lot of money kind of slows down travel plans). I also don't think my Spanish will be where I want it to be after the next six months. I know I've improved a lot, but I have so much more to learn.
So - what to do?! As of yesterday, I have seven new hours a week of teaching, which is wonderful news! This will help to fill up some more time and means quite a bit of extra money. This news has improved my outlook immensely! I've also recently applied to the American and international schools in Barcelona and Madrid, in hopes of getting back into the classroom. (Although I would love to stay in Seville, it doesn't seem like there are many international school options.) I think teaching at an American or international school will provide the financial and legal security I've been missing . . .
Needless to say, at this point, nothing is decided! I will definitely be back in Denver on July 26th - I just don't know if it will be for good or an extended visit. I will be sure to keep you posted with any decisions I make. In the meantime, if you have any advice, I would love to hear it! Ciao!
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