A Jumble of Emotions

Whew - now that it's coming to an end, it makes me realize that these past few weeks, although SO fantastic, brought up quite a few emotions in me. At the moment, I feel like I have about 15 different ones rushing to the surface at the same time - it's a bit exhausting!

I feel so happy that I get to show off this city as my "home." I love Barcelona and it's so great to share the city, the lifestyle, the food, etc. with people who are important to me - it's such an amazing place to live!

I feel lots of guilt for knowing that my choosing to live abroad makes people in my life sad, yet they support me so much! At the same time, I know that being here is the best place for me right now - I can't imagine being anywhere else. And I feel lucky that I'm able to be here.

I feel jealous of people who have what I don't have right now and a bit sorry for myself at times and the fact that I haven't found what I'm looking for - both emotions that I hate :(

I feel a bit of anger - mainly towards a particular someone and the fact that he occupies even a second of my thoughts, a second, that at this point, he doesn't come close to deserving.

I feel stress - particularly related to work.

I feel excitement and anticipation - for the upcoming places I have to visit, the people I get to see, the experiences I will have, and the inevitable fun that will surprise me along the way. . .

And I've been reminded that for someone who isn't especially emotional, sometimes emotions get the best of us - for better or worse. So, I'm trying to accept them, reflect on them, and hope that the positive ones soon outweigh the negative ones, as I know they will :)