And the roller coaster begins . . .

Well, having Lauren visit was just as great as expected! We had SO much fun - exploring the city, enjoying tapas and drinks, going to the beach, and sightseeing. However, the best part for me was definitely just being together. Not since we lived together in Denver (circa 2005) have we had that much time to just hang out and talk. Although we cover a lot over the phone, it's the big details we share, not the small ones. It was so wonderful to just be together and have many meaningful, and pointless, conversations. Without a doubt, this trip confirmed that we really are "best friends forever." :)

At the nighttime tour of Gaudi's La Pedrera - we loved it!

Whenever I have visitors, I always seem to feel a little off balance.  At times I have to remind myself that I really am still in Barcelona, not at home. It's amazing how quickly we can pick up where we left off. I had a feeling I might be a bit sad when Lauren left this morning . . . and I was right. Getting to spend so much time together and having so much fun, followed by honestly not knowing the next time we will see each other causes a mix of emotions. Of course it's more than worth it, but it doesn't make it any easier in the moment.


I haven't been home in over a year, so the fact that I leave tomorrow for the US is pretty crazy, too! I've been packing up and trying to wrap my head around the fact I'll be gone for three weeks while visiting four different cities. I'm also trying to prepare myself for the emotional roller coaster that has just begun. I'm SO excited to see my family and friends, spend time catching up, enjoy favorite foods, and visit particular places. However, if this visit is anything like my previous ones, I know leaving is going to be equally difficult. Knowing I chose to live so far away and the fact that my choices make other people sad causes me to feel so much guilt (even though I know my friends and family support my decisions - thank you!). I can kind of ignore this when we're apart, but it's so not so easy in person. 


The older I get (or the longer I'm gone?) the harder these hellos and goodbyes seem to be - saying goodbye to Liz, Indy, and Michael last summer about did me in! So as I pack my bags and double-check that I have everything I need, I'm doing my best to concentrate on the positive feelings and excitement and just accept that some sadness has to go along with them. My roller coaster ride continues tomorrow morning and I know it's going to be a lot of fun before I reach the end :)

Nostalgia

• Nostalgia: a bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.

For a number of reasons, I've been feeling quite nostalgic lately. It all started with an email from someone that brought up many memories from about a decade ago - great memories! Emily and I also spent a lot of time reminiscing about the past ten years while in Croatia - our first few years in Denver, music connected to memories, our travel adventures, making the huge decision to move abroad. Last night Tessa and I watched the video Matias made after my birthday last year, which was such an unexpected and fantastic day. (If you haven't seen it, it can be found under April 2011 posts and is quite entertaining!)

I love how the definition of nostalgia includes the word bittersweet. When I think back over the past ten years of my life, there are definitely some things, people, and places that I miss and at times long for. But overall, I feel so happy when I think back to everyone I've known, the places I've been, and the experiences I've had -- it's truly been so sweet.

As the birthday that will take me "off the calendar" quickly approaches (yikes!), I imagine I'll continue to feel a bit nostalgic. Here's to the bittersweetness of it!:)

Spring Break 2012 - Croatia!

I just got back from Croatia and it was unlike any place I've been so far! As I'd been told, Croatia is a stunningly beautiful country, full of gorgeous islands, crystal-clear waters, and lots of interesting history.

In many ways, Croatia is one of the most untouched places I've been. The old town of Dubrovnik is amazingly clean - the stone streets literally seemed to shine! The buildings are all made of similar stone and the shutters are all painted the same shade of green. This, combined with the red brick roofs, create a very magical appearance. At times, Emily and I felt like we were in the backdrop to an old Shakespearean play! The jagged coastlines, 1,000+ islands, and rolling hills just added to this feeling.

Old Town of Dubrovnik, as seen from the city walls

On our way to the Elaphiti Islands

As picturesque as the city and landscape was, it was equally clear that the people and country have had some rough times. Huge battles centuries ago, a devastating earthquake in the 1600s, and the very recent war that led to Croatian independence clearly had an impact that is still felt today. It was fascinating to me to be in place that had a type of history I'd never experienced before.

We also took a day road trip to Montenegro, which was fantastic. Crossing a border by car was a first-time experience for both of us - one which we loved! Being asked if we were transporting anything, having our passports checked, all while playing "Born in the USA" was pretty amazing! We stopped in a few small towns and were definitely the only tourists there. The people, as our Croatian driver said, are a bit "wild." When you're a country of only 300,000 inhabitants, I guess that's to be expected. The huge mountains, clear waters, and old stone churches and buildings were so beautiful - without a doubt, Montenegro is one of the most naturally beautiful places I've ever been.

From the top of Perast, a small town in the Bay of Kotor

It was the last big European adventure for Emily and I, for a little while at least, as she heads off to Brazil this summer. Although this trip was quite different than our time in Guatemala, Costa Rica, and Argentina/Chile, it was as memorable as ever. Great conversation, lots of reflecting on the past 10 years, and many, many laughs. I've again been reminded of how lucky I am to be living in Europe and able to travel so easily to so many different places. And to do so with such great friends as well!

Building Friendships

Over the past few weeks, I've been part of or have heard about, many discussions regarding friendships. Without a doubt, I think this is one of the hardest parts of moving someplace new, especially when it's a foreign country.

A few teachers have mentioned how they just feel like they have very few, if any, close friends. Something that has surprised me is how some people seem to think they should be invited by everyone to everything that's happening. And if they are not, they take it very personally. I don't know if it's because for a number of people this is their first time abroad or what. A few people I know at other schools have mentioned the same thing. However, it's been really interesting to observe (I think international schools would make for a fascinating sociology experiment!).

I'll be the first to admit that I've been really lucky since moving to Spain. Being thrown into CELTA in Sevilla made for many quickly formed friendships due to spending so much time together and having similar interests (teaching, learning Spanish, living in Spain). Although I didn't expect to become friends with Anna when I first met her, I'm so lucky that life put us together and once we got to know each other, we became the best of friends. I suppose spending literally 300+ days with someone will do that :)

Then, I was lucky enough to find Tessa in Barcelona! I think we were both fortunate to be here for our first year, single, around the same age, and with many of the same interests. In addition, there were very few other new teachers, so we immediately began spending lots of our time together. She and I have become the best of friends, too.

However, as I was discussing with someone earlier this week, friendships take time! When I think of my closest friends at home, we've been friends for over a decade. No one can expect to have those sort of friendships in just a few short months, particularly when friendships are somewhat forced because of the situation. In fact, I only feel that in the past few months I've become true friends with Tanya and Anne. Although we've gone out together before, it took almost a year and a half to be at the point where I feel I can really be myself around each of them.

I believe that true, strong friendships take time and effort on the part of both people. When moving abroad, you truly have to start over when it comes to friends and that's tough! You have to find the people that you really think you would become friends with if you had the choice. And you have to work to make those friendships happen. It's for this reason that I'm surprised when people seem to think friendships happen without some effort by both parties.

Now that I've developed some true friendships with people at school, I'm doing my best to try and make some outside of it. Without a doubt, this is even harder! I don't particularly want to make any more American friends because I am surrounded by them all the time. But, I really want to make Spanish-speaking friends so that I can practice! In addition, since I plan to be in Barcelona for awhile, I hope to be friends with people who plan to stay here, too (another problem with friendships in international schools - people are constantly moving away).

I think it's hard to find genuine situations in which you can meet people that are living here and wanting to make new friends as well. Luckily, I met Hayley through Spanish classes and she and I quickly became friends. Although she's Australian, she and her Argentinian boyfriend will be here awhile because he's in medical school. I believe it's true that Catalan people aren't quite as open and welcoming as Andalucians, which makes it harder to know local people. I hope an intercambio friend might be my ticket into more Catalan culture!

As I reread this entry to myself, it reminds me a bit of middle school! Living abroad means figuring out who you are in a new setting and I think one can learn a lot about themselves through these experiences. I've again been reminded of the amazing friendships I have, some that began more than 15 years ago, others 5, and some that just started a year or a few months ago. Regardless of the time, these friendships began because of shared interests and experiences, as well as genuine enjoyment of one another's company, not because they were forced to happen. And so, I look forward to the other friendships I might discover while living a broad in Barcelona . . . :)