Building Friendships

Over the past few weeks, I've been part of or have heard about, many discussions regarding friendships. Without a doubt, I think this is one of the hardest parts of moving someplace new, especially when it's a foreign country.

A few teachers have mentioned how they just feel like they have very few, if any, close friends. Something that has surprised me is how some people seem to think they should be invited by everyone to everything that's happening. And if they are not, they take it very personally. I don't know if it's because for a number of people this is their first time abroad or what. A few people I know at other schools have mentioned the same thing. However, it's been really interesting to observe (I think international schools would make for a fascinating sociology experiment!).

I'll be the first to admit that I've been really lucky since moving to Spain. Being thrown into CELTA in Sevilla made for many quickly formed friendships due to spending so much time together and having similar interests (teaching, learning Spanish, living in Spain). Although I didn't expect to become friends with Anna when I first met her, I'm so lucky that life put us together and once we got to know each other, we became the best of friends. I suppose spending literally 300+ days with someone will do that :)

Then, I was lucky enough to find Tessa in Barcelona! I think we were both fortunate to be here for our first year, single, around the same age, and with many of the same interests. In addition, there were very few other new teachers, so we immediately began spending lots of our time together. She and I have become the best of friends, too.

However, as I was discussing with someone earlier this week, friendships take time! When I think of my closest friends at home, we've been friends for over a decade. No one can expect to have those sort of friendships in just a few short months, particularly when friendships are somewhat forced because of the situation. In fact, I only feel that in the past few months I've become true friends with Tanya and Anne. Although we've gone out together before, it took almost a year and a half to be at the point where I feel I can really be myself around each of them.

I believe that true, strong friendships take time and effort on the part of both people. When moving abroad, you truly have to start over when it comes to friends and that's tough! You have to find the people that you really think you would become friends with if you had the choice. And you have to work to make those friendships happen. It's for this reason that I'm surprised when people seem to think friendships happen without some effort by both parties.

Now that I've developed some true friendships with people at school, I'm doing my best to try and make some outside of it. Without a doubt, this is even harder! I don't particularly want to make any more American friends because I am surrounded by them all the time. But, I really want to make Spanish-speaking friends so that I can practice! In addition, since I plan to be in Barcelona for awhile, I hope to be friends with people who plan to stay here, too (another problem with friendships in international schools - people are constantly moving away).

I think it's hard to find genuine situations in which you can meet people that are living here and wanting to make new friends as well. Luckily, I met Hayley through Spanish classes and she and I quickly became friends. Although she's Australian, she and her Argentinian boyfriend will be here awhile because he's in medical school. I believe it's true that Catalan people aren't quite as open and welcoming as Andalucians, which makes it harder to know local people. I hope an intercambio friend might be my ticket into more Catalan culture!

As I reread this entry to myself, it reminds me a bit of middle school! Living abroad means figuring out who you are in a new setting and I think one can learn a lot about themselves through these experiences. I've again been reminded of the amazing friendships I have, some that began more than 15 years ago, others 5, and some that just started a year or a few months ago. Regardless of the time, these friendships began because of shared interests and experiences, as well as genuine enjoyment of one another's company, not because they were forced to happen. And so, I look forward to the other friendships I might discover while living a broad in Barcelona . . . :)

Oh, what a night!

Wow - last night was one of those nights that reminded me just how lucky I am to work with the people I do! The MAIS (Mediterranean Association of International Schools) conference was held in Barcelona this past weekend and ASB sent 50 staff members to the conference. It was a great opportunity to attend workshops and enjoy some professional development. In addition, I was part of a presentation - my first at a conference!

In addition to teaching and learning, there was some definite fun provided as well! On Friday, many ASB teachers took visitors out to dinner, including Tessa and I. This was great opportunity to show off the city and delicious Spanish food, as well as talk with teachers from all over.

Last night was the gala dinner, hosted at the Hotel Rey Juan Carlos, one of the fanciest in Barcelona. Upon arrival, we were greeted with glasses of cava and led down a palm tree-lined path into a beautiful outdoor area. Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres were served there until we went inside for dinner and drinks. After dinner, there were flamenco dancers who were really good - it brought me back to Andalucia!

But, the best part of the night was definitely when the DJ started! Drinks were endlessly poured and the dance party began! I knew we had some good dancers at our school, but this was incredible! It was absolutely hilarious to watch dance-offs and crazy moves by many of our teachers, including our director and some older staff members. The best dance moves definitely belonged to Anne (not a surprise!), Alan, and Brett. It was SO much fun dancing for hours to a fabulous mix of music with this group. My body is a bit tired today, both from the dancing and the laughing!

Last night was a great reminder of why I love living and working here. Although I might get frustrated with things at times, the fact that I get to live in a city that takes enjoying life to a whole other level while working with such fun, amazing people makes it all worth it. I feel like a pretty lucky girl :)

Southern France - I can't wait to go back!

While my mom and dad were here, we spent a long weekend in southern France. It was my first visit and like Italy, it's a country I think I will return to over and over again! It's amazing how you can drive just two hours away and everything is so different! Again, this is part of what I love about living in Europe - a new language, a new culture, new foods, and new landscapes are so close!

We rented a car (a definite necessity to see this part of the country) and were able to see multiple castles and small towns, as well as drive through beautiful French countryside. We stopped in Thuir on our way to the bed and breakfast we stayed in - Maison Laurent in Pieusse. I can't recommend this place enough! The British couple, Anthony and Rachel, who own it are fabulous. The accommodations were amazing, as was the 4-course meal Anthony prepared for us one night. It was heavenly staying there!

We visited Carcassone, a beautiful walled village, and stopped at numerous Cathar castles along the way. We ended our trip with a night in Coillure - a town on the coast. Waking up to see the Mediterranean is always a treat :)

All in all, it was an amazing weekend. I'm already starting to mentally plan some trips to Paris, Provence, the French Riveria . . .

A Jumble of Emotions

Whew - now that it's coming to an end, it makes me realize that these past few weeks, although SO fantastic, brought up quite a few emotions in me. At the moment, I feel like I have about 15 different ones rushing to the surface at the same time - it's a bit exhausting!

I feel so happy that I get to show off this city as my "home." I love Barcelona and it's so great to share the city, the lifestyle, the food, etc. with people who are important to me - it's such an amazing place to live!

I feel lots of guilt for knowing that my choosing to live abroad makes people in my life sad, yet they support me so much! At the same time, I know that being here is the best place for me right now - I can't imagine being anywhere else. And I feel lucky that I'm able to be here.

I feel jealous of people who have what I don't have right now and a bit sorry for myself at times and the fact that I haven't found what I'm looking for - both emotions that I hate :(

I feel a bit of anger - mainly towards a particular someone and the fact that he occupies even a second of my thoughts, a second, that at this point, he doesn't come close to deserving.

I feel stress - particularly related to work.

I feel excitement and anticipation - for the upcoming places I have to visit, the people I get to see, the experiences I will have, and the inevitable fun that will surprise me along the way. . .

And I've been reminded that for someone who isn't especially emotional, sometimes emotions get the best of us - for better or worse. So, I'm trying to accept them, reflect on them, and hope that the positive ones soon outweigh the negative ones, as I know they will :)

Thoughts for today . . .

And think not you can
Direct the course of love,
For love,
If it finds you worthy,
Directs your course.

-Khalil Gibran

Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own lovelessness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it. - D. H. Lawrence

The road to finding "the one" is paved with a bit of promiscuity. - Ryan Erickson

The Adventures of Emily and Jenny - still happening after all these years!

Emily just left this afternoon after her third annual fall visit to Spain. And, as usual, we had a great time! Each year I reminded of how nice it is to have a friend who I know from home, which means we can share memories of particular places and people in Colorado, who I've traveled all over the world with, and who is living a similar life to mine at the moment. It's so nice to be able to share experiences with her!

We had a great time all week, especially with Amy and other friends visiting from Switzerland - great food, tons of laughs, and lots of fun. However, it was this past Friday night with Emily that was my favorite. After dinner with Amy, we went to a favorite neighborhood bar where we had drinks with new English friends, then went to one of my favorite clubs. Lots of flirting, dancing, and fun later, we were walking home around 6:30 in the morning when we stopped for food at a cafe and happened upon a French bachelor party! Fabulous French accents, breakfast beers, and entertaining conversation ended with us coming home at 7:30 -- crazy!

It was such a fun night and so unexpected (always the best nights in my opinion). I'm glad to know that even though we're at ages that are now "off the calendar," we still have it in us to have adventure-filled nights. I look forward to more of them in our future! :)

Holiday Plans

Although it seems like a long time away, it's hard to believe that the Christmas holidays will be here in less than 3 months! I had been debating about whether to return to the states this year for the holidays. I had SO much fun last year in Denver with friends and family, yet it also felt super-busy and like a lot of travel for not a lot of time. And it's such an expensive flight to buy at that time of year. So, even a few months ago, I thought I might be sticking around Europe this holiday season.

Well, I just confirmed these plans, although not for the reason I had anticipated months ago. Instead, it's because of something even better - a SBFF reunion! Anna will be in London for a few months during her summer holiday, so we have decided to reunite for our second Christmas together. This time, she'll be coming to Barcelona for Christmas and I will return with her to London for New Year's! I knew I wouldn't have been okay spending Christmas by myself and I'm so excited I get to spend it with Anna (and whomever else wants to join us in BCN!). Getting to see London, a place I've never been, with Anna and over New Year's, is just a great added bonus.

Although I am sad to not be with my family on Christmas, knowing I'll see my parents in just a few weeks, and that the rest of the Killion clan might be visiting this summer, and that I'll get to spend extended time in the states in the summer, makes it all worthwhile. And, the fact that I get to see Anna, who I was sure I wouldn't see for awhile (flights to Australia are just too pricey for me when I need to make it the US as well!) and have been missing terribly, makes me so happy.

Needless to say, I'm anxiously awaiting the holidays - and all of the fun that will happen before!

Christmas in Sevilla, 2009

(hopefully I'll take a better Christmas photo this year! :)

New Year's Eve in Milan, 2009