When I first moved to Spain, I remember thinking about how in many ways, I was reinventing my life. I was moving to place where no one knew a thing about me - where I came from, my past, or what I was like before living in Spain. In so many ways, this was such an exciting thing! Although I was leaving a pretty amazing life in Denver, there was still something really exciting about the feeling of getting to be whomever I wanted because no one knew otherwise.
Although I did essentially begin my adult life over again, I also realized that I am who I am, especially at this age. I wouldn't take back any of my experiences and my personality traits, even the ones I don't love, are pretty much here to stay. I've also realized that it can be really hard to be surrounded by people who will never truly know what your life was like before meeting them.
You can tell story after story, share photos, and do what you can to make your past come to life, but it's just not the same. With new friendships and relationships, it seems you really do focus on your life together in the present and try to fill in the pieces from the past.
When Tessa and I first began this conversation, it was due to not wanting to know too much about someone's past because it didn't have, or shouldn't have, an impact on the present or the future. However, we also talked about how hard it is to never truly know or understand where someone has come from because you weren't there and didn't know them in the midst of that experience.
I do really believe in the idea of "living in the moment" and I still believe that it is exciting to have the opportunity to reinvent yourself and strive to be more of your ideal self. Yet, the reality is that our past makes us who we are and can be something that we want to share with the people we care about. But, since we can't rewind, I guess stories and photos have to be enough . . .
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