Feeling Much More Like Myself!

I am happy to report that the sun has been shining for multiple days now and it’s amazing what a difference it makes in my mood! I am feeling much more like my positive self again . . .

I think the past few weeks have been a little rough for a couple of reasons. As I mentioned a week ago, the weather and its effect on everything from our house to life in general has been brutal. Then, last Tuesday my computer stopped connecting to the internet for no apparent reason. I’ve been receiving error messages quite consistently for the past few months and now often turn it on to a blue screen, so I figured the end was in sight . . . However, not being able access the internet made me realize just how often I use it to “talk” to friends and family at home, makes plans here, and prepare for class. Needless to say, that situation did not help my mood! Luckily, my roommate Louise is letting me use her computer while she is in France (please forgive any typing mistakes – French keyboards are a bit difficult to navigate!). And, it looks like the Killions will be giving me a new netbook as an early birthday present – quite possibly the best gift ever!

I’ve also come to the conclusion that the smartest thing for me to do financially and professionally next year is either find a position teaching in an international school in Spain or return home. Ideally, I would prefer to stay in Spain. However, not one of my many emails or applications has even received a response!! It’s been SO frustrating! Even an email saying “You’re not qualified” or “We don’t like what you have to offer” would be better than no response at all!

So, all of a sudden I feel like I am being “forced” to go home when I would much prefer to feel like I get to make a choice. And it’s making me feel like there are so many things that I haven’t accomplished while here! For example: falling in love with a Spanish man, becoming fluent in Spanish, traveling to as many countries as possible, etc. Over the past week, I’ve been feeling a little disappointed about a lot of things . . .

But now . . . the sun is shining and I am able to re-evaluate a few things. One – I still have at least 5 months left in Spain! There is plenty of time to fall in love with a Spanish man J I don’t think I will become fluent in 5 months, but I know my level of Spanish can only continue to improve. And no, I won’t be traveling to tons of countries, but I do plan to see a lot of Spain in July with Anna (and ideally Megan Donald!), as well as visit the Canary Islands in May.

And most importantly, I’ve reminded myself that I am living in Spain – I actually did it! Even if not every one of the things I wanted to accomplish happens, I’ve lived abroad – something I have always wanted to do. A lot can happen in 5 months – I need to remember that the future has not been decided quite yet and I need to spend a little less time worrying about it (not such an easy thing for me to do!) . . .

In the meantime, there is SO much to look forward to – Liz and Kevin visiting, Semana Santa, Meredith visiting, Feria, my birthday, spring in Seville, traveling, eating, drinking, learning Spanish, and experiencing as much as possible in my time here!

As you can see, I am happy to report that I am feeling much more like myself again – thanks for your support! Hope to talk to everyone soon! Love, Jenny xx